Saturday, April 2, 2011 | By: Mary Wright

"Hidden" Illnesses

Yesterday, my ex-husband posted this to his Facebook wall:

YOU DON'T LOOK SICK?! No, I don't. It's hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It's a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Put this as your status for at least 1 hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (Anxiety, P.T.S.D.,Lupus, Fibromyalgia, IC, Chronic Fatigue, Diabetes, Crohns, Arthritis, Menieres, IBS, Epilepsy, Sarcoid, MS, Depression...PCOS
It really touched me, when I saw it.  For the longest time, I thought I was just "lazy" (and I may have been...I do have a tendency towards laziness), but for a long time, how do you explain that you are tired when you just slept 14 hours a day.  Small things like that.  Perhaps if I hadn't isolated myself somewhat in Vacaville, and I had had been bold enough to ask my ex for the trips, I might have been diagnosed earlier.
But when you start believing it in yourself, that you are lazy, can't do stuff, and just sit back, and let it take over becomes a hard habit to break.  But now, that I know I have a known condition, Fibromyalgia, and others that are secondary, either diagnosed, or still working towards diagnosis (depression -- is it bipolar, or complete meds messing with my moods/etc.  Plantar Fasciitis on my feet.  Pain Problem with my back, that my shins, that they cannot seem to diagnose...I could list more...but those are my primary problems).
When I read the post on his wall, I cried...because he understood now.  And he's going through his own problems...another form, in a sense...He is suffering from PTSD.  He used to tell me to "suck it up" on the pain, now, he says it's understandable, and a lot more so, because now we know "why" I have the pain.  But I would not wish to have what he has....nightmares, sometimes just random jerks, because a shadow lays the wrong way, and reminds his subconcious....that sort of thing.
Thank you, Ken, for posting that.  I cried when I read it...and am now, also.  There's people out there who have, and who understand! 


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